About this time three years ago I wrote a blog about the silliness of the names of some of the lesser bowl games. My two favorites back then were the \u201cBad Boy Mower Gasparilla Bowl\u201d and the \u201cPoulan Weed Eater Bowl\u201d. Who won and lost in these football extravaganzas is unknown to me and frankly I could give a mouse turd in a margarita. My point was that the dignity of the college football post season was being despoiled by the proliferation of meaningless games where so-so teams risk injury to their players for the name recognition of a corporation with the teams only reward being a participation trophy. This year is no exception, in fact it is far worse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Here is a partial list:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Avocados From Mexico Cure Bowl. I love avocados, I don\u2019t care where they are from but what do they cure?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Scooter\u2019s Coffee Frisco Bowl. Guess I now know what avocados cure. Also, it is not San Fransisco, but Friso Texas!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Famous Toastery Bowl. Toastery is an all-day breakfast chain in the Carolinas. Hope they serve avocado toast.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Duke\u2019s Mayo Bowl. Best Foods and Miracle Whip beware, there\u2019s a new goo in town. As a new twist on the now cliche, pour the bucked of Gator Aid on the back of the winning coach, at the end of this game the coach will be douched with a bucket of Duke\u2019s mayo. Reminds me of the climax of a gay porn movie, not that I have ever seen one myself.
All I can say is I am really glad that a porta potty corporation is not currently sponsoring a bowl game.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
TaxAct Texas Bowl. Yep, Texas, where men are men, sheep are scared, and taxes are for bussing the undocumented to sanctuary cities.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wasabi Fenway Bowl. Wasabi in this case is not the sushi green shit but a storage company. Only in America.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Pop-Tarts Bowl. That\u2019s what I call my toilet about four hours after that feast. Apparently, at the end of this game the winning team will eat the edible mascot. By the way this bowl was formally known as the Chez-it Bowl. I think they traded down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Barstool Sports Arizona Bowl. This one speaks for itself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In no way should you construe this, my latest rant, as retaliation for my beloved Beavers not being selected for one of these silly bowls. That is the result of having a dismal 5 and 7 season, including a 49 to 14 rout to the despicable slug eating ducks. I can make no excuses for this. True, we had been abandoned by ten members of the once glorious PAC 12, our coach had left us before our last game of the previous season taking the cream of our team with him to Michigan State and dropping off all off his beaver logo clothing at Good Will in a black plastic garbage bag. There is a special place in hell that awaits him unless the ghost of Dee Andros doesn\u2019t roll over and crush him first. Then the fucking ducks poached our field goal kicker. What kind of low life team poaches a kicker? Why he went there I will never understand. He will never fit in as he has no felony convictions. But these are not excuses, especially as our fellow PAC 12 rape survivor, the Washington State Cougars, are playing in a bowl game and were even considered for about 30 second to get into the college football championship series. Then they lost to the New Mexico Lobos and the college football world was once again moving in greased grooves. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And finally, my personal favorite silly bowl game name.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Idaho Famous Potato Bowl. This is one of the few bowl games where the sponsor is not a corporation but an entire state. Idaho is enamored of the lowly tater. In their defense, It is one of the most adaptable and inexpensive foods on the planet and reasonably nutritious as well. I am not sure what the state of Idaho gains from this bowl game sponsorship as they have that motto on all their license plates, with road signs saying they have \u201cfree taters for out of staters\u201d if you visit a museum in Black Foot, ID. As an added incentive they have the world\u2019s largest potato chip on display there. Thirty years ago, Judy and got suckered lnto stop there. As is costs to visit the museum, we didn\u2019t go in, but we did get a single, raw, medium sized potato. And even though the signs said \u201ctaters\u201d it was still truth in advertising as the signs also said, \u201cout of staters\u201d, both plural. As there were two of us, we got two taters and yippie, holy fuck, they were free.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I recently bought 50 pounds of famous Idaho potatoes for under ten bucks. That comes out to twenty cents a pound. With an average potato being about half a pound, the state of Idaho had a pretty good cost benefit for the signs. And even though I got a screaming deal on those 50 pounds of starchy goodness, that was at post pandemic inflated 2024 prices. So comparatively those 30-year-old potatoes were essentially free. Therefore, \u201cfree taters for out of staters\u201d was the absolute and unvarnished truth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But I digress\u2026I have this problem with my rants. Back to the Idaho Famous Potato Bowl. As an added wrinkle to the Gator Aid bath, the wining coach of this epic bowl game will be drenched with a buck of French fries. I\u2019ll let that sink in for a bit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Recently, 13 eastern Oregon counties voted to leave the state of Oregon and join Idaho. This succession movement would move 62% of Oregon\u2019s land and 9% of her population into the state of \u201cGreater Idaho\u201d. There are lots of reasons why this is a bad idea, especially for the state of Idaho, whose voters have not had the opportunity to voice their opinions on this issue. The greater Idaho advocates main reason is that there are extreme cultural differences between mostly rural eastern Oregon and us west of the Cascade elites. They claim that we don\u2019t listen to them and look down on them as ignorant buffoons. Sadly, I have to agree. Anybody who wants to join a state where they baptize a coach with French fries instead of Gator Aid should be looked down on. And their best football team plays on a blue field. Don\u2019t let the swinging door hit your coverall covered fat caboose on your way out.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
About this time three years ago I wrote a blog about the silliness of the names of some of the lesser bowl games. My two…<\/p>\n