{"id":51,"date":"2020-02-23T21:48:54","date_gmt":"2020-02-23T21:48:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/docandthebimbo.com\/?p=51"},"modified":"2020-02-23T21:48:55","modified_gmt":"2020-02-23T21:48:55","slug":"no-kindling-required","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/docandthebimbo.com\/?p=51","title":{"rendered":"No Kindling Required"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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We are visiting Judy\u2019s family in Northern Washington for a\nmonth, in the rain, snow, and mud.  We\ncould have been in Arizona, but no!!! We decided to go 50 miles south of the\nCanadian border in January because it would be fun.  Our one-year old Golden loves the mud which\nshe artistically tracks on the back seat of our truck, RV floor and the seat of\nthe RV Lazyboy.  I have never been a big\nfan of the arts.  Judy, on the other hand\nis having a great time with her younger sister sewing American Girl doll\ncloths.  I, on the other hand, am\nspending a lot of in the RV listening to exciting public radio programs about\nmidwifery and obscure African musically forms. \nPraise the Lord for cheap and really good Costco scotch.  Half in the bag and bored,  I tend to get more easily confused , distracted\nand my mind wanders into fantasy,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Case in point.  The\ndoll sewing sisters have left me marooned in a Lowes in Burlington Washington,\nwhile they go a few miles away to a fabric store.  \u201cWe are only going to get one thing, just\ntake a few minutes.  Get your stuff and\nwe will probably be in the parking lot waiting for you.\u201d  I know better but have learned in a half a\ncentury of marriage to keep my pie hole shut at appropriate times.  Took me four decades to learn this but learn\nit I did, with only a few trips to the ER.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After 45 minutes of waking around in Lowes, checking out the\nhand tools, table saws, power washers, I was sitting on a pile of wood stove\npellet bags, waiting, waiting, waiting. \nSat there for so long that several people came up to me to see if I\nwould like a cash day job.  I just\nshrugged my shoulders and said, \u201cno hablo Ingles\u201d. That did not really\nhappened,  as my mind does tend to\nfantasy in these situations and this was Washington, not Montana, where I could\nhave easily been confused for a undocumented day labor.  And then I saw the sign.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

European split white birch. \nWhy was Lowes importing firewood from Europe? I live in the fucking\nPacific Northwest.  Firewood is\neverywhere.  You don\u2019t even have to cut\nit down. Every time the wind blows thousands of trees fall down over roads,\npower lines, and crush people to death while sleeping in their bedrooms.  Do we really need to import firewood? Wouldn\u2019t\nthat screw up our balance of payments, whatever the fuck that statistic is? Or\nworse yet, maybe we are bringing in Europeans to split our firewood.  I know Trump wants people from Norway to\nimmigrate here, but unskilled wood choppers? \nWe have enough of that demographic already here.  Maybe the sign was just bad grammar.  Maybe it should have read, split European\nwhite birch.  I google European white birch.   It is a real tree, native to Europe and\nAsia.  However, it is ENDAMGERED!  Is Lowes importing nearly extinct species for\nprofit?  It has been planted in the US as\nan ornamental.  Maybe, I thought, this\ntree went wild in its new environment and is now an invasive nuisance species\nlike Chinese bottle brush, scotch broom, and tea bagging Republicans.  Lowes then maybe doing us all favor by\ncutting them down and making it into firewood. \nBeautiful!  Making a profit and\nhelping the environment at the same time. \nA quick Google search sunk that sailboat.  Seems like it never was used much in\nlandscaping, never went crazy kudzu on us. Worse yet it is a host for a nasty\nboring beetle.  Lowes may have got a good\ndeal by disposing of sick trees, but are they are spreading infected firewood across\nthe nation.   I more confused than ever,\nbut the doll sisters are here so it\u2019s time to signoff.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-51","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/docandthebimbo.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/51","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/docandthebimbo.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/docandthebimbo.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/docandthebimbo.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/docandthebimbo.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=51"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/docandthebimbo.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/51\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":53,"href":"https:\/\/docandthebimbo.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/51\/revisions\/53"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/docandthebimbo.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=51"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/docandthebimbo.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=51"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/docandthebimbo.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=51"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}