Queen Elizabeth II just died. I am sure that she was a good person, even though I never met her. Let’s face it. I could never, ever, if hell froze over have met her. She was the Queen for God’s sake. Lived in Britton, in a palace, and wore funny hats. I live on the opposite side of the planet in a beach shack, and only wear a hat when the sun comes out, which on the Oregon Coast happens once in a decade. I also was taught by my mother to take off the hat when indoors. She called it manners. Apparently British nobility never met my mother. Although she did cook like a Brit, overdone and tasteless. How do they eat that crap with bad teeth? But I digress.
The point of this my latest rant is why are we as Americans obsessed with a monarchy that we bloodily escaped from 250 years ago. As a whole the Royals are not particularly good looking, or talented, or brilliant. The possible exception to this is Megan Markel, and she’s American. Okay, Diana was somewhat attractive, but not enough for Charlie to keep his short arm out of Camilla, who looked like a dried-up cauliflower 20 years ago and who has not improved with age. Diana was just okay. She certainly was not so wonderful that 50 trees had to be cut down to make tabloid newsprint to report every time she changed her panties. Also, the Royals speak the American language with a funny accent, again with the exception of Megan Markel, and the Brits hate her for it.
So, what is the point of the Royals. They are a symbol of the UK, however, they are not allowed to publicly have political opinions. Their sole purpose in life is to cut ribbons, reproduce like rabbits, and kiss snotty nosed babies, occasionally meet with the Prime minister, and generally soak up tax dollars with no value added. And unlike Trump they cannot be voted out of office.
At one point in time the Royals ruled an empire on which the sun never set. But then Hitler came along and nearly destroyed them, Japan kicked them out of Singapore, and Hong Kong. The only reason they survived WWII was that America bailed them out. You would think that if the Royals were truly great leaders the UK would recover, but their empire collapsed with the ultimate humiliation being the loss of India to a short, bald headed guy with ugly glasses, who wore a bed sheet and probably was going commando. And why does their national anthem have the same tune as America the Beautiful? Can’t they come up with something original like ours, with rockets red glare, bombs in the air, and flags waving. Ours ends with “home of the brave”. Theirs ends with “God save the queen”. Well God didn’t save her and now they got Charlie who once said he wished he could be Camilla’s tampon and that was when he was still married to Diana! OMG. And now he is the King Charles the Pervert. I always thought Americans admired winners. So why are we obsessed with this bunch of stick up the ass, funny talking, perverted and ugly losers?
And obsessed we are. For the last 4 days every time I turn on the news its, Lizzy this, Lizzy that, Charlie this, Charlie that, and the kids are coming to view the carcass, whoo! What happened to the real America news? There are wildfires killing people in the west, killer heat waves in Arizona, a hurricane about to demolish Disney Land, and a second mass shooting in Uvalde, Texas. I am sure the Queen was a nice, maybe even a great human being. But the Rams just got a can of whoop ass opened up on them by the Bills. In America the headlines for Thursday, September 7, 2022, should have been, “NFL season starts!!! And on page 2 “Something happened to the Queen.”
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